Lauren Conrad felt like she was losing her mind when she became a mother for the first time.
Lauren Conrad ''lost her mind'' when her son was born.
The former 'Hills' star doubted whether she could even be trusted to look after her little boy Liam, now 22 months, on her own when he was a newborn because she was so sleep deprived that she was struggling to rationalise her thoughts.
Speaking in her new podcast 'Asking For A Friend', she said: ''There is a lot of pressure to do it on your own and I felt that even with all the help I was like, 'No, I need to do this all by myself.' I don't know when we decided that that was the way it was supposed to be or set that standard because it's so impossible. When you're not sleeping, that's a form of torture! You'll literally lose your mind to the point where I was like, 'I don't know if I'm qualified to watch a baby right now. I don't know if I should be left alone with my child. I haven't slept in three days.' ''
And even when Liam outgrew the newborn phase, the 33-year-old reality TV star was hit with even more problems as her body struggled to keep up with the demand for breast milk so she had no choice but to switch him onto formula.
She explained: ''I, like a lot of moms, thought that breastfeeding would be the most natural, beautiful thing in the world and that it would just come really easily to me and I would just kind of know what to do because that's what my body is made to do. It was, without a doubt, the most difficult part of becoming a new mother.
''I had this one, really sad half-full frozen bag of breast milk sitting in my freezer and it had a tiny little martini glass drawn on it because it was from the one time I had a martini and I couldn't give it to him. But I also couldn't bring myself to throw it out so it just sort of sat there next to the popsicles mocking me. Besides that, I had nothing and I couldn't keep up with him.
''I felt like I was failing at something that should come really naturally and it was really difficult for me. I felt ashamed and it kind of made me feel like a bad mom.''
But Lauren has the opportunity to learn from her past experiences as she and her husband Will Tell are currently expecting their second child together.
This article is dedicated to Caroline Flack.
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