The 34-year-old beauty and John, 41, split in July on the series finale of her reality show 'Total Bellas', and Nikki has confessed to being devastated by the suggestion that their relationship was completely fake.
The brunette beauty - who was engaged to John at one point - explained: ''When everyone was saying what I was going through was fake for ratings and all that and when you're really going through it, it's like, you're just, in my heartache you're literally just knifing it and just churning it.''
Nikki insisted she's happy to go unnoticed for the time being, saying she doesn't want her career to be overshadowed by her much-discussed split from the wrestler-turned-actor.
She told Cosmopolitan magazine: ''We're both are at the point that we just don't want to be talked about at all together anymore.
''We don't want our break-up to define us or interfere with our work. And that was happening for a while.''
In fact, Nikki revealed that the experience has discouraged her from ever dating another celebrity.
She said: ''Going through all that, I don't ever want to do it again. It scares me to ever have another public relationship.''
Nikki is now keen to ensure that people know her for more than her dating history.
The American star shared: ''I don't want my relationship to define who I am, as a woman and to take away all the hard work that I've ever done in my career.
''I think for a man, it's different. I feel like, if anything, the woman gets blamed for what happens, for taking away from what they do. But I get all my work taken away because of that.
''I don't know, I feel like sometimes there's a double standard and I really have felt that. And it's been really, really hard.''
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