In this awful, Saturday Night Live sketch gone bad, Jeff Goldblum stars in a thankless role as an infomercial executive who needs to find good product or he'll be fired. He stumbles upon G (Murphy), a mysterious man in a white sheet who speaks eloquently about.... uh....stuff. Goldblum has the inevitable romance with co-worker Kelly Preston, who are about as compatible as Catherine Zeta-Jones and Walter Mathau.
Continue reading: Holy Man Review
Chan and Tucker are truly opposites. Jackie is known for his modest demeanor and amazing physical abilities, but not for his amazing grasp of the English language. Chris is boastful and outspoken, a shameless motormouth that just will not shut up. The pairing of these two actors works well. Chan provides us with the action and Tucker provides us with the witty comic relief.
Continue reading: Rush Hour Review
For the record, I scored an 1110 on my SAT, which was fine with me. Then again, I wasn't nearly as motivated as these kids during my senior year. Though they run in different social circles, the scheming students of The Perfect Score are united by one common denominator - the SAT stands in the way of their career aspirations.
Continue reading: The Perfect Score Review
One hypothesis, that we spend our working hours thinking and want to relax and thus not think in latter hours appears to hold water at a glance. However, when you peer deeper you realize that not everyone enjoys turning their brain off. Furthermore, many people cannot turn their brain off. Yet I am both A and B and still find brainlessness enjoyable.
Continue reading: A Low Down Dirty Shame Review
The love in Dragonfly is the wife of poor Joe Darrow (Kevin Costner), an emergency medicine doctor in Chicago. She's also a doctor -- a pediatric oncologist named Emily -- and for some reason, she decides to head for Venezuela to do a little Peace Corps-style work, presumably to exorcise her upper class guilt.
Continue reading: Dragonfly Review
In Knights, Chan returns as Chon Wang, who along with sidekick Roy O'Bannon (Owen Wilson), take their latest adventure from the Wild Wild West to London, where Chon seeks to avenge the brutal slaying of his father and obtain the stolen Chinese Imperial Seal. While there, the pair teams up with Chon's much younger, hotter, and ass-kickinger sister, Lin (Fann Wong) to hunt down their father's killer, Rathbone (Aiden Gillen) and foil Rathbone's plot to assassinate the Royal family. The three certainly have their work cut out for them.
Continue reading: Shanghai Knights Review
Mac plays Stan Ross, a former baseball all-star who has spent his retirement years capitalizing on his claim to fame: getting 3,000 hits in his playing career, an accomplishment that makes him a baseball legend. He's put that feat to good use, opening up a 3,000 Hits shopping center, while shamelessly campaigning to get into the Hall of Fame.
Continue reading: Mr. 3000 Review
Diesel stars as top Marine Shane Wolfe, who's assigned to guard the family of a slain professor who was working on a secret government work project. Wolfe's job is to protect the man's five kids, while his widow (Faith Ford) travels overseas to settle affairs. What starts as a two-day trip soon becomes two weeks. And it has to seem longer to Wolfe when the family's nanny (Carol Kane) bolts, leaving him to also play surrogate dad to the unruly group of kids.
Continue reading: The Pacifier Review
Looks like now I'm waaaaay too old for this kind of thing, but judging by the mute stares of the many children in our advance screening audience, maybe they are too.
Continue reading: Inspector Gadget Review
The 2002 incarnation of The Count of Monte Cristo is a remarkably similar experience, full of pleasing flavors yet probably too rich for everyday consumption -- but, as with all things, I figure you'll eat it if you're hungry enough. Sure enough, in this snail-slow winter movie season, Monte Cristo is just about the best thing going. Like the sandwich, this isn't gourmet fare -- it's a crowd pleaser meant to entertain for a few brief moments, nothing more.
Continue reading: The Count Of Monte Cristo Review
Decades in the making, Guide has been embroiled in controversy since the very beginning. The most recent round of complaints have covered pretty much the entire film, from casting (Mos Def taking a role commonly envisioned as a sort of British dandy) to directing (Garth Jennings is a music video veteran), to choice of writer Karey Kirkpatrick (a kiddie flick screenwriter best known for Chicken Run but also the writer of disastrous flicks The Little Vampire and Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves). Out of this, we've all been promised, genius would spring.
Continue reading: The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Review
Never mind that. If you're willing to suspend disbelief -- completely and utterly -- you might find The Ranch a curious diversion.
Continue reading: The Ranch Review
Jackie Chan represents the grand amalgamation of all of these actors combined. With the embarrassment of the re-release of a slew of his old Asian films, re-cut and dubbed in English, Jackie Chan was headed to the land of Jim Kelly (aka Black Belt Jones). But with the success of last year's Rush Hour, Chan was saved from the abyss of Don "The Dragon" Wilson by the mighty mouth of Chris Tucker and a $100 million dollar domestic gross. So, what's Chan's next move - let's take the same story as Rush Hour, make it a Western, throw in the well-established TV actress Lucy Liu, and added the wise-cracking Owen Wilson as his partner. And watch the money pour in.
Continue reading: Shanghai Noon Review
In the not-too-distant future, London drillers uncover a dragon's lair far below the surface, awakening a horde of slumbering beasts and triggering a mass invasion. The creatures pillage our planet, destroying every major city from Paris to New York. We're not shown the attacks, but rather a montage of headlines from newspapers.
Continue reading: Reign Of Fire Review
Ever since they were kids, best friends Connie (Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette) dreamed their two-woman show would take them places. When we first meet the duo, they're not performing in Chicago's dinner theaters; instead their venue is the dismal O'Hare Airport lounge, where they perform for sleeping travelers. After they witness the murder of their boss, by small time gangster Mr. Rudy (Robert John Burke), Connie and Carla pack their bags and escape to a "cultureless" place where Rudy can never find them: Los Angeles.
Continue reading: Connie And Carla Review
None of these leads really grabbed me, but then again, neither did The Recruit. It's a glossy and well-massaged thriller, designed to give you two hours of eye candy and gently massage your brain -- but not too much! After all, a fickle mass audience might be weighing their investment against the simplicity of Kangaroo Jack.
Continue reading: The Recruit Review
As heavily promoted as it's been, you should know the plot by know. Sandra Bullock is Lucy, a goofy, salt-of-the-earth Chicago Transit Authority toll booth attendant who falls in love (at first sight) with Peter (Peter Gallagher), a yuppie lawyer. Almost immediately after Lucy swoons, Peter gets pushed onto the train tracks, whereupon Lucy comes to the rescue. Then the obligatory "misunderstanding" occurs: Peter's concerned parents think Lucy is Peter's fiancee, pulling Lucy into the family as a new member. But when Peter's brother Jack (Bill Pullman) arrives on the scene, Lucy and Jack begin to fall in love and, well...you get the picture.
Continue reading: While You Were Sleeping Review
Continue reading: Grosse Pointe Blank Review
Listen to Generation Dude's 'Radio Pills'.
Listen to her new song 'I'll See This As A Blessing'.
This article is dedicated to Caroline Flack.
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