Troian Bellisario's battle with anorexia ''almost killed'' her and she admits there was a time in her life where she was just eating 300 calories a day.
Troian Bellisario's battle with anorexia ''almost killed'' her.
The 'Pretty Little Liars' star has revealed there was one point in her life when she was just eating 300 calories a day and whilst she is now ten years in recovery, she admits it ''still finds insidious ways to thwart me to this day''.
She shared: ''There is a part of my brain that defies logic. Once, it completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me even that was too much. That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me.
''It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day. It was a difficult journey finding my way back to health. Through hard introspection, intense medical and mental care, a supportive family, friends, and a patient and loving partner, I survived, which is rare.
''But I don't want to just survive that part of my life. I want to create in rebellion. I want to stop looking at the clocks. I wanna get paint all over the floor and build a wall of feedback in the amp so loud that it starts a mosh pit as I scream back in the face of my disease: I AM ENOUGH! (sic)''
However, the 31-year-old actress says writing, producing and acting has helped her on the road to recovery.
Writing for Lenny Letter, she added: ''Writing, producing, and acting in it helped me to get one more degree of separation from my disease in what I know will be a lifetime of work in recovery.
''It is my greatest hope that someone watching it, struggling with the same challenges I do, might think, What if I were enough too? So with all the courage I can muster, I give it to you, I give it to that one person, in hopes that it could make them feel enough. Maybe by the time you see it, I will have gotten out of the cold water and be warming myself in the sun.''
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