Hollywood star Alec Baldwin wanted to jump out of the window of his New York apartment after an answer machine message in which he called his daughter a "thoughtless little pig" was leaked on the internet.
In his autobiography A Promise To Ourselves: Fatherhood, Divorce and Family Law, Baldwin describes how he plunged into a suicidal depression when the message to 11-year-old Ireland was revealed to the world.
And he blasts bosses of website TMZ.com for publishing the tape last year (07), insisting the despair it caused almost led to him taking his own life.
He explains, "She (Ireland) was off for spring break with her mother and her phone was turned off for 10 consecutive days... This had gone on for years now and... when the beep came, I snapped. (TMZ boss Harvey Levin) seemed to be that breed of tabloid creature that realized an almost sexual level of pleasure from ruining other people's lives.
"He has created TMZ as the updated receptacle of... trash. He leads a cadre of self-satisfied twentysomethings who jump like rats from public relations sinking ship to sinking ship."
Baldwin continues to describe the spiraling depression that ensued before he sought treatment, adding: "Driving up the Taconic Parkway, heading to an inn in the Berkshire Mountains, I began to think about what little town I would repair to in order to commit suicide. What semi-remote Massachusetts state park could I hike deep into and overdose there? When I returned to New York, the thought of jumping out the window of my apartment was with me every night for weeks."
Baldwin's book hits shelves at the end of the month (23Sep08).
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