"Game Of Thrones" Episode 3 Recap: Whodunit? Who Cares?

Before talking about this week’s Game of Thrones, we should probably dish out the warnings with a heavy hand. Beware of ALL THE SPOILERS for Season 4 Episode 3 Breaker of Chains. Also, this should go without saying, but all the trigger warnings: sexual assault, violence and various very graphic murders. Now that that’s out of the way…

This episode sets up like a classic whodunit. With Joffrey dead (good riddance, although Jack Gleeson’s acting will be missed), Lord Tywin is trying to prepare little Tommen for his new role as king. The boy wants to be a “good king”, which would be admirable, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s like 12. Cercei, meanwhile, is only concerned with who killed her son. Well, she’s also concerned with getting revenge on Tyrion, whom she thinks is the killer, finding Sansa (who escaped during the commotion caused by Joff’s death) and just a bit of incest next to Joff’s body, but that’s just standard Westeros fare at this point.

Tyrion, meanwhile, has been locked up and is trying to reach out to someone – Sansa, Jaime, Bron, anyone – who might testify on his behalf. He gets to talk to Pod, ever the loyal squire, only to realize that the situation is hopeless. We get a touching moment between Tyrion and Pod and the former hand steeles himself for what’s to come.

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Sansa is fleeing the scene and is brought to a mysterious ship waiting to take her away from Westeros, Pirates of the Carribean style. She thinks she’s safe, until it turns out that her savior is in fact Littlefinger (a twist book fans have seen coming for years). Petyr Baelish obviously has his motivations (mostly his love for Catelyn Stark, now creepily transferred to her daughter), but this also means something bigger for the plot. In order to get the ship ready, Littlefinger must have known about Sansa’s flight (and therefore Joffrey’s planned murder) for some time. Of course, Petyr, being a Catelyn Stark fanboy, definitely has motive to kill Joffrey. But then so does practically everyone else in King’s Landing, so we’ll let that one go for the moment.

Meanwhile, it looks like everyone is gearing up for war.

Is she though?

Over at Dragonstone (aka the most depressing place in this or any other fictional universe,) Stannis is livid, because he wasn’t in on the whole “king is dead, time for a new king” thing. Which is understandable, only it’s poor Ser Davos who bares the brunt of his anger. Things are swiftly moving from personal to political and Stannis, who has motivations on both fronts, seems to be moving back into the game.

Margaery and Lady Olenna are discussing the new sort-of-queen’s situation, but it doesn’t seem like there’s much to be concerned with on that front. Maybe Margaery will marry Tommen, maybe not. Either way, it’s Tywin, who’s going to deal with things now, and “things” in this case includes Oberyn Martell’s obvious and not-in-the-slightest-secret plan to… wreak havoc on any and all Lannisters he comes across. So Tywin goes to find the Dornish prince and his main squeeze Ilaria at a brothel, enjoying everything that King’s Landing has to offer – and we do mean everything – and he makes Oberyn an offer of a different kind. Will Oberyn sell his quest for vengeance in exchange for peace, money and a seat on the small council? He doesn’t look like the type, but the Dornish prince looked like he was considering it.

And that’s where the developments in King’s Landing pretty much end, so that we can see what’s going on up north. Quite a lot, as it turns out. As Sam and Gilly continue their strange arrangement – she and Baby Sam live peacefully with the Night’s Watch, in exchange for cooking, housework and other womanly chores, both Sam and Craster’s daughter continue to ignore the fact that they’re totally in love with each other. So keen is Sam on ignoring it, that he sends away the possible love of his life, so that she can be “safe”. Riiiiight…

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Arya and the Hound are buddying it up on their travels, with Sandor plundering a random villager’s cottage and Arya being outraged about it because – go figure – the girl still has a bit of a moral compass left. The villager is significant in virtually no other way, except for he gets murdered by… a bunch of wildlings, including the creepy, cannibalistic and apparently bisexual Thenns. Bad luck would be putting it mildly. But at least his kid gets off the hook, so that he can run to Castle Black and tell all the Crows that there’s a new sheriff in town. And he likes to eat people. As the Night’s Watch plan how to protect Westeros with 100 men, while also trying not to get eaten, it’s clear that winter is well and truly upon Westeros.

The only person, who has anything to celebrate this episode is Daenerys – what with the whole dragons, army of loyal supporters, hot new boyfriend situation. And celebrate she does, by liberating (and here the word is used correctly) yet another city in the East. Barring the vaguely racist implications – bleach blond Dany rising above a sea of adoring, uniformly dark-skinned followers is a bit uncomfortable – she does give one hell of a speech. Let’s just hope her pride isn’t a bit premature. Historically, the winning streaks on GoT don’t seem to last very long.

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