Baywatch - Movie Review

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Clearly, it's a risky proposition adapting a cheesy vintage TV series for the big screen: this is the second one that's gone awry this year, after CHiPs. But it doesn't have to be like this. Lively movie versions of Charlie's Angels and 21 Jump Street proved that with inventive writing, snarky performances and deranged energy, the result can be thoroughly entertaining. Sadly, this movie falls back on cheap jokes that simply aren't that funny. Fans of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron will still have a good time - they're both unstoppably engaging - but the truth is that this simply isn't good enough.

We're back in Emerald Bay, where the beefy hotshot Mitch (Johnson) heads up the lifeguard crew with babes Stephanie and CJ (Ildenesh Hadera and Kelly Rohrbach). And now they're training up three new recruits: fallen Olympic swimming champ Matt (Efron), feisty hottie Summer (Alexandra Daddario) and pudgy geek Ronnie (Jon Bass). Meanwhile, as various crimes and calamities strike the beach, Mitch decides to investigate everything himself without the help of the local police. And as he becomes convinced that resort owner Victoria (Priyanka Chopra) is involved in bribery, extortion, drug running and murder, he sends his lifeguards undercover to catch her. Which of course is just a bit beyond what they were trained to do.

Mitch's determination that these lifeguards should play detective is one of the more amusing running gags in the movie, continually poking fun at the TV show's ludicrous plots. But the screenwriters never go anywhere with this. Instead, they pepper scenes with rude gags that focus mainly on male genitalia, while making sure the women are in the most revealing swimsuits imaginable. This alpha male fantasy is good for one laugh, but after two long hours it all feels rather leery. The only thing that makes the movie watchable is the cast, all of whom give cheeky, energetic performances that are perfectly timed and never take themselves remotely seriously.

Johnson and Efron have proven time and time again that they're likeable even in terrible movies (San Andreas and Bad Grandpa, for example). So even these dim-witted, inconsistent characters can't sink this movie. Meanwhile, the female cast members at least get to add a bit of ironic edge to their underwritten roles. But there's an overpowering sense that the filmmakers simply had no idea how to make this movie funny. For example, they bring David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson for cameos, but don't ask them to do anything witty. It's the kind of movie that will please the most undemanding of late-night audiences, but they'll hate themselves in the morning.

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Facts and Figures

Year: 2016

Genre: Comedy

Budget: $69M

Production compaines: Paramount Pictures, Montecito Picture Company, The, Flynn Picture Company, Fremantle Productions, Seven Bucks Productions, Skydance Media, Uncharted

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Director: Seth Gordon

Producer: Michael Berk, Gregory J. Bonann, Beau Flynn, Ivan Reitman, Douglas Schwartz

Screenwriter: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift

Starring: Dwayne Johnson as Mitch Buchanan, Zac Efron as Matt Brody, Alexandra Daddario as Summer Quinn, Kelly Rohrbach as C.J. Parker, Priyanka Chopra as Victoria Leeds, Ilfenesh Hadera as Stephanie Holden, Rob Huebel as Captain Thorpe, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Sgt. Ellerbee, John Cenatiempo as Sergeant, Pamela Anderson as Casey Jean Parker, Hannibal Buress as Dave the Tech, Charlotte McKinney as Julia, Jack Kesy as Leon, David Hasselhoff as The Mentor, Izabel Goulart as Amber, Ana Flavia Gavlak as Lifeguard, Angelique Kenney as Surfer beach babe, Oscar Nunez as Councilman Rodriguez, Jon Bass as Ronnie, Brandon Larracuente as Skateboarder #1, Zachary Vazquez as Lifeguard, Maegan Vogel as Bikini Model, Haviland Stillwell as Allegre, Kera Lynn as VIP Party Member, Whitney Goin as Doctor, Amin Joseph as Frankie, Belinda as Carmen, Lee Hodge as Lifeguard, Earl Poitier as The Kitchen Worker, Shay Davila as Bikini Girl, Casey McCullum as Beach Goer, Tamila Bilalova as Baywatch baby, Barbara Vincent as Yachter, Damon Preston as Lifeguard #1, Bria Danielle Davis as Beach Goer, Cody Scott as Crewman, Milton James Jones as Elegant party guest, Samantha Harris as Interviewer, Seth Gordon as Helicopter Pilot, Brenda Lowe as Surfer, Pedro Anaya Pérez as Huntley Waiter (as Pedro Anaya Perez), Vincenzo Hinckley as Pete, Arian Foster as Arian Foster, Karin Silvestri as Pier Mom (as Karin Silvestri-Coye)

Also starring: Beau Flynn, Ivan Reitman, Damian Shannon, Mark Swift