Arnold Messer

Arnold Messer

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What To Expect When You're Expecting Review


Weak
The odd moment of honest drama or genuinely witty humour catches us completely off guard, because this is one of those resolutely bland Hollywood star machines that bears no resemblance to the real world at all.

In Atlanta, TV fitness guru Jules (Diaz) is about to reveal that she's pregnant by her celebrity dance show partner Evan (Morrison). Meanwhile, Holly and Alex (Lopez and Santoro) are looking into adoption even though they're not sure they're ready; Wendy and Gary (Banks and Falcone) are finally expecting after trying for years, only to be upstaged by Gary's dad (Quaid) and his much younger wife (Decker); and food truck operators Rosie and Marco (Kendrick and Crawford) rekindle their teen romance with unexpected results.

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Shutter Island Review


Excellent
Essentially a B-movie thriller with an A-list cast and production values (and an epic's running time), this film is almost ludicrously well-made. Scorsese is clearly having fun rattling our nerves, and he does it very well.

In 1954 Boston, Ted (DiCaprio) is a US Marshal heading with his new partner Chuck (Ruffalo) to the Shutter Island hospital for the criminally insane. A patient (Mortimer) has mysteriously disappeared, and the head doctor (Kingsley) is acting suspicious. So is everyone else for that matter. As Ted delves deeper into the mystery, which hints at a big conspiracy, he struggles with the implications these events have for his own life, including the death of his wife (Williams) and his experiences liberating Dachau at the end of the war.

Continue reading: Shutter Island Review

Pathfinder Review


Weak
The idea that Vikings arrived in America long before Christopher Columbus is a fascinating one. It's easy to envision these bearded warriors, hunkered down in their longboats, stumbling sick and exhausted onto North American shores after a harrowing journey across the wild Atlantic. That's at least what I see. The makers of Pathfinder see something else entirely. The Vikings who wash ashore here are giant-sized brutes and they come complete with veritable armies and practically a herd of horses. It's like they rowed over from Jersey on cruise ships.

And forget every image of Vikings you've ever seen, these guys are less Scandinavian herdsman and more post-Apocalypse titans. Remember Humungous from The Road Warrior ("The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!")? Throw a few bear skins on that guy and give him a helmet made of twelve ram's horns and he could play every one of the Viking raiders in Pathfinder. I half expected MasterBlaster to come surging out of the primitive landscape.

Continue reading: Pathfinder Review

Miss Potter Review


Weak

Chris Noonan's Miss Potter continues a rather long line of films that attempt to diagnose the creative process of a writer and the critical world that surrounds the writer's inherent social (emotional) ineptitude. There are moments where Miss Potter seems to be on the right track in feeling out the emotional trajectory of its main character, but it often chooses the route of greater cuteness over the challenges of trying to study the life of a writer.

Beatrix Potter (Renée Zellweger) came from a well-off family and was well past her marriage date when three brothers agreed to publish her book, expecting nothing more than a minor profit. In case the name doesn't ring a bell, Miss Potter was the brains behind the beloved Peter Rabbit and several other indelible creatures of delightful fantasy. When the elder statesmen of the publishing firm deem the project unworthy of their time, they send their young brother (Ewan McGregor), to handle the book and its flighty author. As you may guess, the two fall head-over-heels, much to the chagrin of Beatrix's parents (Bill Patterson and Barbara Flynn) and to the glee of his sister (Emily Watson, the film's most evident charm factory).

Noonan, best known for the now classic Babe, treats his subject with the same well-dressed adorability that Potter gave her creatures, most notably Peter. A more easygoing version of Marc Forster's Finding Neverland, Miss Potter spends more time striving to deal with the relationship status of its heroine than delving into the quixotic charm of her writing process. The better parts of the film are the flourishes of animated hallucinogenics that Noonan puts in as a reminder of where these creations came from: Beatrix's parlor of emotional eccentricities.

The problem is that, when push comes to shove, we've seen Potter's story before, and Miss Potter is severely lacking in trying to differentiate its source material from any other classically-tinted story of love and writing. Acting-wise, there couldn't be a sweeter bunch of actors to add to the candy-coated shell the film inhabits. But the film invariably goes for impenetrable cuteness, even when a rather obvious tragedy occurs. In fact, all the drama that arises seems to be treated with fumbling, patronizing dullness to give more ample weight to what is a rather wanting character study.

Rereading the Peter Rabbit books, you have to marvel at the simplicity and class that the books had in telling a story with a solid moral. What Miss Potter doesn't have is the creative veil that Potter herself gave these wonderful stories. The film could have been so detailed and surreal, yet it relies on whimsy like the animated whirl of Beatrix's parents stepping into a cartoon pumpkin led by four monstrous rabbits. It is missing that childlike love for nature and animals that Beatrix must have had, and in turn, forgets what it's like to have an imagination.

Not Harry's mom.

Arnold Messer

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Arnold Messer Movies

What to Expect When You're Expecting Movie Review

What to Expect When You're Expecting Movie Review

The odd moment of honest drama or genuinely witty humour catches us completely off guard,...

Shutter Island Movie Review

Shutter Island Movie Review

Essentially a B-movie thriller with an A-list cast and production values (and an epic's running...

Advertisement
Pathfinder Movie Review

Pathfinder Movie Review

The idea that Vikings arrived in America long before Christopher Columbus is a fascinating one....

Miss Potter Movie Review

Miss Potter Movie Review

Chris Noonan's Miss Potter continues a rather long line of films that attempt to diagnose...

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