Celebrity Big Brother is back. Ok, so we kind of predicted that Lindsay Lohan might be going into the house, so we're sorry for disappointing you on that score - turns out she really was just wandering around London and having dinner at various fancy restaurants for no reason. The nearest thing we got to the notoriety of Lohan was The Hills' twosome Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the latter of whom turned up dressed as a U.S. Army Sergeant. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

First up was X Factor joke Rylan Clark and jockey Frankie Dettori, who were tasked with deciding between the rest of the contestants as to who enjoyed champagne in the main house and who would settle for water in the 'basement.' While Rylan wore an outfit that you'd probably expect from someone who danced with fashion pandas on The X Factor, Frankie surprised us all with a nice fitting jacket, flat cap and jeans. An early contender for best dressed. 

Rylan Clark, Celebrity Big BrotherFrankie Dettori, Celebrity Big Brother

Rylan Clark Channeling His Inner Batman [L] and The Smartly Dressed Frankie Dettori [R]

Next up was Kathy Beale, aka, Gillian Taylforth, in a pretty elegant red ball-gown. If we could think of something witty to say about the former Eastender we would, but she came across as a thoroughly decent person, and her choice of dress wasn't even offensive. 

After that came the wonderfully named Lacey Banghard, best known for her Page 3 and Nuts magazine shoots. On first look, it appeared the glamour model had opted for an outfit unusually conservative, but on second glance, it was all see-through. You nearly had us going there Lacey! Big Brother producers were presumably sweating about the timing of the live show at this point, after sending former Coronation Street actor and all-round bighead Sam Robertson down at the same time. Being Scottish, he opted for a kilt and boots, though later looked nonplussed when Paula Hamilton asked him if it was the family's tartan. 

Gillian Taylforth, Celebrity Big BrotherLacey Banghard, Celebrity Big Brother

Former Eastenders Actress Gillian In An Elegant Ballgown [L] and Glamour Model Lacey Complete With See-Through Outfit

The aforementioned Heidi and Spencer - or Spidey if you prefer - were next up, looking as though they had no idea where they were. They definitely had no clue who host Brian Dowling was. They looked even less enthusiastic when a jockey named Frankie and some bloke from The X Factor sent them down to the basement. Heidi certainly wasn't dressed for the damp and dark, wearing a glitzy low-cut dress, though Spencer had come prepared in camouflage. 

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, Celebrity Big BrotherUSA USA! Heidi Montag and Sargeant, er, Spencer, Pratt.

Others to step into the house where celebrity careers go to lie down and die included Ryan Moloney, last seen driving his wife into a river, and CLAIRE FROM STEPS, who just looked plain weird with weird gloves on.

Ryan Moloney, Celebrity Big BrotherClaire From Steps, Celebrity Big Brother

Ryan Moloney Dressed As A Sixth Form Student [L] and The Rear End Of Claire From Steps [R]

Last in was former Liverpool defender and all-round MAN, Neil 'Razor' Ruddock. After his VT revealed he has a MAN-only room in his house, Razer walked-the-walk in a pretty badly put together suit, with shirt and tie. At least he made an effort. 

Neil Ruddock, Celebrity Big BrotherRazor Sharp: Neil Ruddock Making An Effort In A Grey Suit

So, who was the best dressed? 

Frankie, just.