Loving Jezebel

"Weak"

Loving Jezebel Review


Written by a man (Kwyn Bader) who has convinced himself he knows what women want, "Loving Jezebel" is a film about a sensitive-guy lady-killer with a bad habit of coveting women who are spoken for.

After a prologue in which our hero is freeze-framed while jumping out a window to escape an angry and armed jealous husband, Theodorus (Hill Harper) laments in voice-over about how it all started in kindergarten with a girl named Nicky Noodleman.

In a two-reel run through high school and college (rife with amped-up '80s and first-sex clichés), Theo comes off like a whiney puppy dog type, actually begging for dates and -- here's where the picture's credibility goes straight out the window -- getting girls to say "yes" this way. See, they all have insensitive boyfriends and he's so tender, blah, blah, blah.

The biggest problem with "Loving Jezebel" is that it seems to be angled toward a female audience, yet the string of female leads are all one-note fantasy girls given fabricated depth by way of personality quirks. There's the college-age virgin (Nicole Ari Parker) who sleeps with him because he spouts some poetic nonsense about jazz. There's the teddy bear girl (Elisa Donovan) whose bed is blanketed with stuffed animals. There's the worldly chick from Trinidad (Sandrine Holt) who oozes sexuality and wears spaghetti-strapped leotards and sarongs.

The circumstances of these romances are all highly contrived. Much of the time the dialogue is even more so ("That night I believed again in the magic of life..."). Harper certainly garners audience sympathy because he really is a sensitive guy, but he's unconvincing as a Romeo who "loves all the things about women their men don't love." What is this, a Luther Vandross song?

If Theo were being depicted as a dog who learns to love, "Loving Jezebel" might have been obnoxious and unoriginal, but at least there would have been a story arc to this "romantic" comedy. Instead, this hero is depicted as a guy who loves all women and just hasn't found the right one yet...

Until the last reel, of course. Whose husband do you think he was running away from? Samantha (Laurel Holloman) is an unhappy young married who anguishes over attempted poetry every day in the coffee shop in the Village, where Theo works. What they share is, apparently, special -- or so says Theo in the voice-over. We'll just have to take his word for it because the movie doesn't tell us any more than that.



Facts and Figures

Run time: 87 mins

In Theaters: Thursday 5th August 1999

Distributed by: Universal Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 33%
Fresh: 9 Rotten: 18

IMDB: 5.8 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Kwyn Bader

Contactmusic


Links


New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews