Spanish Judges

"Weak"

Spanish Judges Review


Try to contain your enthusiasm for this one.

A self-proclaimed thriller "in the tradition of The Spanish Prisoner and Reservoir Dogs," Spanish Judges is more akin to Death Wish 3 than either of the aforementioned films.

A rather rudimentary con game flick, Spanish Judges puts us at the center of a triple doublecross, with Vincent D'Onofrio (the heavy), Matthew Lillard (the brain), and Valeria Golino (the vixen... uh, right...) all trying to recover two antique dueling pistols called The Mexicans, er... the Spanish Judges. Director Oz Scott (a prolific TV directing guy) goes to outrageous lengths to set up the intricacies of the doublespeak, but really it comes down to a simple proposition: after copious shootouts, two will die, and one will abscond with the loot.

I guess it's a little like Reservoir Dogs after all...

Too bad Spanish Judges comes off like the cheap, direct-to-video pap that it is. D'Onofrio, normally a stellar actor, stumbles through the sub-par script, reduced to begging for cashews throughout the film. Lillard can be funny, but clearly he's too busy with his duties as a producer to be bothered to act. Golino just looks scary and trashy -- her hair marred by a bad, blonde dye job that is inexplicably wet for most of the film. Frankly, she's the worst part of the film altogether and was obviously hired because you've at least heard her name before and because she'd also do the brief nude scene.

There's little else worth mentioning about Spanish Judges aside from some baffling supporting characters, each more stupid than the next, plus a notation that though much time passes in the film, it's always night. Oddly, it also takes place in L.A. Where's the sun and babes, Oz?



Spanish Judges

Facts and Figures

Run time: 98 mins

In Theaters: Monday 16th October 2000

Budget: $3.5M

Distributed by: Trimark

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

IMDB: 5.1 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Max, as Jack, as Jamie, as Piece, as Mars Girl, Michael Shamus Wiles as Wellings, J.W. Smith as Red, as The Bossman, George Griffith as Griff, Dennis Keiffer as Lenny

Contactmusic


Links


New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews