Actress garcelle beauvais enrolled in therapy sessions after discovering her husband cheated on her in a bid to find the "courage" to cope with her divorce.
The former Nypd Blue star was left blindsided in 2010 after discovering Michael Nilon, her husband of nearly nine years, had had an affair, and she fired off an angry email about his infidelity to his colleagues and associates.
Their divorce was finalised last year (11), and Beauvais has now opened up about her heartache in a blog for People.com - revealing she had no idea her longtime partner had cheated until she discovered an incriminating text message on his phone.
She writes, "In 2010, I had everything I had always wanted. I had been happily married to my husband for nearly a decade. I was watching an entertainment show about Sandra Bullock and her unfaithful husband, and I thought, 'How did she not know?' Well, it happens. In fact, it happened to me. And I had absolutely no idea.
"You see, I thought I had won the lotto in husbands. Caring? Check. Attentive? Check. Loyal? Well, un-check. It only took one text message to change my life. That's when I discovered my loving husband had been unfaithful. His infidelities ended our marriage.
"The shock was like a freight train hitting me. The pain was unimaginable. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to exit my body like a character in a cartoon. I had so many questions. What happens next? Do I stay for the sake of the kids? Do I stay because, well, that's what some women do? And oh my God, what do I do with all of this anger?"
Beauvais decided to part ways with Nilon, but the former couple is now on good terms for the sake of their four-year-old twin sons.
She adds, "With the help of therapy, time and some books that gave me the courage to face my pain, I found a way to cope with my divorce. More importantly, my ex and I put our love for our children above everything else. We have even come to a place where we can hang out together with our boys to make sure they have a solid, stable upbringing.
"It hasn't been easy... and I admit that at first, my rage threatened to break my spirit. You may have heard about the angry email I fired off to some of his colleagues and friends of ours. (I did it hours after I found out the truth, and I never expected it to leak to the press. But in the digital age, I guess nothing is private. Lesson learned.)
"Adultery is the ultimate deal-breaker for me. I would rather be alone than in a relationship that doesn't honour me. First, I had to mourn for the marriage I thought I had. I had to forgive him, but I also had to absolve myself for not seeing the warning signs; for choosing this man. Achieving forgiveness lifted an enormous weight off of my shoulders. It made me light in the best way."
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