Jon Lovitz

To launch their new album, the iconic 1970s rock band Status Quo indulges in a spirited action-comedy that might have worked when they were in their 20s. On the other hand, these guys are in their 60s, so it's more than a little strained. And it doesn't help that the writing, directing and editing are utterly inept. Although fans will enjoy the music.

It all takes place as the band's world tour touches down in Fiji, of all places. In between performing gigs, frontmen Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt entertain themselves by trying to ditch their manager Simon (Fairbrass) and his intern Caroline (Aikman). But they get in serious trouble when they stumble into a back-alley Russian roulette game run by mobster Wilson (Lovitz). As local journalists (Kennard and Heard) try to uncover the story, Simon and Caroline are struggling to regain control of the situation. And Wilson is hunting down Francis and Rick.

Not only does the plot never attempt to make any logical sense, but the filmmakers never bother trying to spark a sense of black comedy amid all the murderous goings on. Instead, director St Paul cuts away from anything remotely morbid, leaving us wondering what happened as he dives into yet another lacklustre slapstick set-piece. The movie has no sense of pace or energy at all, lurching through each scene amateurishly. At least the cast and crew appear to be having a lot of fun frolicking on a South Pacific island. Although St Paul never really captures its beauty or culture either.

Continue reading: Bula Quo! Review

Cats & Dogs is ridiculous and harmless, a Mission: Impossible for the animal world. For years, a secret high-tech espionage war has been waged between the feline and canine races, right under the noses of ignorant humans. The spark of this high-tech war came about as the result of the dog race overthrowing the then-dominating cat race during ancient Egyptian times (they even ruled the human race). Man's best friend re-established the humans as the dominant race and has protected that balance for years. And a breakthrough for dogs is approaching, as one human, Professor Brody (Jeff Goldblum), is on the verge of discovering an allergy vaccine which will enable all humans and dogs to co-exist in peace. The only problem is that the diabolic Mr. Tinkle (voiced by Sean Hayes), a furry white Persian with the attitude of Richard Grant's character from Hudson Hawk, and his small army of pesky felines have "cat-knapped" the family dog Buddy, who has been guarding the Professor and his family from the tuna-breathed fiends. The bodyguard job then falls on the shoulders of a Beagle pup named Lou (voiced by Toby Maguire) -- who is mistaken as a secret agent dog by an Anatolian Shepard named Butch (voiced by Alec Baldwin).

Continue reading: Cats & Dogs Review

If you're tired of the ugliness surrounding the summer sport, or just need to be entertained, than you should check out A League of Their Own, now out on DVD. Like most great sports movies, League is more than just a series of dazzling feats between the lines. It features laughs, drama, and excitement... in short all of the aspects that make the sports section of the newspaper so captivating.

Continue reading: A League Of Their Own Review

3000 Miles to Graceland is not the realization of that dream.

Continue reading: 3000 Miles To Graceland Review

Little Nicky (Adam Sandler) is the devil's third---and least impressive---son. Bested in brains by his brother Adrian (Rhys Ifans) and in strength by his brother Cassius (Tiny Lester), Nicky finds little joy outside of hanging out in his hell-bound bedroom, banging his head to heavy metal favorites. That is, until his father's 10,000-year reign draws to a close and it's time to name the new ruler of Hades.

Continue reading: Little Nicky Review

Having now seen "Little Nicky," in which Adam Sandler plays the retarded son of Satan, I have formulated a hypothesis I'm calling the Sandler Theory of Exponentially Obnoxious Returns. It goes something like this:

Adam Sandler goes out of his way to make each gimmick character he plays ("Billy Madison," "Happy Gilmore") more grating than the last, just to see how far he can push it before his easily amused fan base will turn on him.

His most detestable character to date had been "The Waterboy," but that Southern-fried dope was mister congeniality compared to Nicky, the little devil that couldn't. Sandler spends this entire movie with his face screwed up in a hit-by-a-shovel grimace and speaking in a silly, raspy voice like a little kid pretending to be sick so he can stay home from school. There's no joke here. It's just Sandler's version of stretching as an actor.

Continue reading: Little Nicky Review

After a generation on hiatus, the crazy, ensemble-cast chase comedy is back with an MTV vengeance in "Rat Race," a cornball marathon between a dozen second-tier stars vying for a $2 million booty.

The gimmick: To entertain his high-rolling clientele, a Las Vegas hotelier -- played by John Cleese with a slightly insane, toothy-dentured grin -- recruits an oddball assortment of zealous casino tourists to dash across the desert to New Mexico in search of a bus station locker where the loot has been stashed. The runners think it's all a zany promotion for Cleese's resort, but in the penthouse billionaires from all over the world are placing high-stakes bets on who will get there first, just for rich-guy kicks.

The players: Jon Lovitz is an chintzy, unemployed soccer dad who red-lines his minivan while dragging his family along, on the pretense of a job offer so he doesn't get chewed out for ruining their vacation. He catches hell anyway when the car breaks down outside a "white power" roadside attraction and they steal Hitler's limo to complete the pilgrimage.

Continue reading: Rat Race Review

As if searching for some nonexistent middle ground between the cartoon raunchiness of "South Park" and the innocuous banality of a cheap children's Christmas special, Adam Sandler has now weaseled his way into the animation and holiday genres with "Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights."

A sub-formulaic slap in the face to seasonal cheer, it's a movie about an acrimonious, 33-year-old layabout with Sandler's voice and Sandler's doltish manner whom we're also supposed to laugh along with as he makes fun of fat little kids and kicks port-a-potties down snowy hills with people inside. But the movie also expects us to view him as a big jerk with a tormented soul who is badly in need of a "Christmas Carol"-type personality breakthrough.

Sentenced after a drunken rampage to doing community service as a youth basketball referee (depicted in exactly one scene of the movie), the cartoon Sandler is taken in by a fellow ref who feels sorry for him -- a kindly, seizure-prone, 70-year-old midget gimp with a shrill, whimpering, falsetto voice (also Sandler's). But he treats the old man (and everyone else) like garbage until he finally has an overdue cry about how his parents died when he was 12, then sees the error of his ways just before the credits roll.

Continue reading: Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights Review