Kevin Federline thought he would spend the rest of his life with Britney Spears.

The 37-year-old DJ, who split from the singer in 2007 after three years of marriage, admits he was ''completely caught off guard'' when she filed for divorce because he ''loved her to death.''

The former backup dancer, who has sons Sean Preston, nine, and Jayden James, eight, with the 'Perfume' hitmaker, said: ''I really thought I'd spend the rest of my life with her. She talked about having kids from the start and was madly in love with our sons when they were born. It was hard for her to juggle them and work, though. Then work became my focus, recording and promoting my rap album. There were also a few drastic things that went down, which I'll never talk about, but overall we still had fun. So when she filed for divorce, I was completely caught off guard. Look, there are a million things I could say about her that would make huge headlines and cause a ton of drama, but for what? The truth is I loved her to death.''

Kevin, who is now married to Victoria Prince, has ''no grudges'' with his ex-wife and found it very difficult to witness her public breakdown in 2008.

He told Us Weekly magazine: ''It was extremely tough watching her go through a phase where she was clearly not OK right after the divorce. There's a lot more I could have done to help. Taking full custody of the boys sucked the life out of me, but it was for them. I have to give Britney's dad, Jamie, a lot of credit for saving her. He made it so I could actually deal with her again.

''Britney and I are on the same page. There are no grudges. We communicate on disciplining the kids and if they're grounded here, they're grounded there. She's a completely different person - as the kids will tell you!''