Lance Henriksen

Lance Henriksen

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The Slammin' Salmon Trailer


Watch the trailer for The Slammin' Salmon

When Cleon Salmon's career as a heavyweight boxer was over, he felt a new career in the catering trade would be a nice way to spend his years. The Slammin' Salmon is a high end seafood eatery in Miami, Cleon himself, manages his untrained oddball staff.

Continue: The Slammin' Salmon Trailer

Unspeakable Review


Terrible
You kinda deserve to have your ass handed to you when you title your film Unspeakable, but when you make a movie as God-awful as this one, you really deserve it.

The story begs for description but truly makes no sense at all. I'll try my best: Serial killer Jesse Mowatt (Pavan Grover, who also wrote the script) is fried in the electric chair, but it just won't take. He keeps coming back to life! Enter psychologist Diana Purlow (Dina Meyer), who has a kick-ass machine that can turn your memories into video. Somehow she feels this will help matters, and though angry prison warden (Dennis Hopper, yeah baby!) doesn't like the idea, she goes ahead anyway. The subsequent gore is balanced by mealworms crawling out of ears and split-open brains plus a bizarre story about Purlow having an abortion secreted in her past.

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Tarzan (1999) Review


Very Good
Tarzan the Ape Man gets the Disney treatment this year. For some classic characters (Snow White, Bambi), the transition has been a positive one. For others (Pocahontas), it's been a disaster. Thankfully, Tarzan is among the former group.

The last time we saw Tarzan, he was saving a Lost City in the worst film of 1998 (shockingly titled Tarzan and the Lost City). The story is a bit more traditional this time, with Tarzan adopted by gorillas after his human parents are killed by a leopard. When he grows up, a group of British explorers stumble upon him, and after the "You Tarzan, me Jane" exchange, the British bad guy, Clayton, decides he's going to take all the gorillas back to Britain for sale. Adventure ensues, along with a love story and singing.

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Powder Review


Extraordinary
Once in awhile, Hollywood manages to surprise me with an uncompromising film full of genuine emotion and enough to make you really think. Powder was completely unexpected: it's easily one of the best films I've seen all year.

Something of an updated, hybridized E.T., Powder is the story of an albino teenager (Sean Patrick Flanery) with strange powers of telekinesis, empathy, and the ability to channel and absorb raw energy. As Powder says, "I'm not like other people." That's putting it lightly.

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The Mangler 2 Review


Weak
Having not seen The Mangler 1, I worry that I don't have the sociological background to appropriately critique The Mangler 2. However, I have read the original Stephen King short story "The Mangler," and if memory serves, it's about a piece of factory machinery that becomes possessed and murderous when a little blood gets on it... not a computer virus gone awry that ultimately creates an impromptu cyborg from a prep school headmaster.

Well, that's what we get here, a ridiculous by-the-numbers teens-on-the-run movie, this time from a computer that's become infected by those very kids, looking to create a diversion and get out of trouble. Darn kids -- The Mangler will show 'em not to meddle!

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Alien Vs Predator Review


Zero

IN THE MEANTIME...

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Lance Henriksen

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Lance Henriksen Movies

The Slammin' Salmon Trailer

The Slammin' Salmon Trailer

Watch the trailer for The Slammin' Salmon When Cleon Salmon's career as a...

Tarzan (1999) Movie Review

Tarzan (1999) Movie Review

Tarzan the Ape Man gets the Disney treatment this year. For some classic characters...

Alien Vs Predator Movie Review

Alien Vs Predator Movie Review

IN THE MEANTIME...Here's the plot:The iconic monsters from the two franchises battle each other on...