I DID NOT HIT HER, I DID NOT. We all love The Room, Tommy Wiseau's 2003 romantic-drama that he tried to pass off as a black comedy once it was started being dubbed the Citizen Kane of bad movies. 

The RoomThe Room - a true masterpiece of cinema

One fan of the movie was pleasantly surprised this week after finding that some movie buff prankster had submitted the plot of the movie to the Toronto Star newspaper's advice column. And here's the best bit: they got a reply.

"I recently overheard my future wife telling her friend about being unfaithful to me. When confronted, she said that she couldn't talk right now," read the letter.

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"Also, she recently told some people that I hit her, but it's untrue. I'm not sure why she's been acting like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast cancer, so that might play a role in her behaviour."

"We always find time to make love, so I don't know why she'd seek it from someone else. I love her so much, and I don't know that I could go on without her."

The agony aunt offered a detailed response to the writer, suggesting, "She's creating drama, perhaps to offset the one that scares her most - her mother's breast cancer.

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"But it's unfair to turn the drama against you. She may have cheated, or she may have invented that story, just as she did about you hitting her."

"Confront her pain. Tell her you know she's worried about her mom, and you want to be there for her. But you can't do this if she pushes you away."

"And that's what she's doing, through her stories, which are hurting both your reputations."

Over ten years after its initial release, The Room continues to sell out showings around the United States and internationally. It's been dubbed a "misguided masterpiece" for its hokey dialogue, bizarre editing and dumbfounding plot lines.

"To make a movie that's so bad it's good you need vision, drive, luck and obsessive vanity. Fortuitously, The Room's writer/producer/director/star Tommy Wiseau appears to possess all of these qualities, combined with a total lack of acting talent," said Steve Rose of the Guardian.