Tom Jacobson

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The Darkest Hour Review


Weak
An intriguing idea and inventive visual approach is let down by a script that runs out out of steam before it ever reaches full speed. There simply isn't enough to the characters or plot to hold our interest.

Sean (Hirsch) has accompanied his pal Ben (Minghella) to Moscow for a work pitch that immediately goes awry. Drowning their sorrows in a hip bar, they meet hot tourists Natalie and Anne (Thirlby and Taylor). But a citywide blackout signals the arrival of alien creatures that aren't much more than pulses of light and energy. And they're intent on obliterating humans. So these four young people start an odyssey of survival, meeting a variety of colourful characters along the way.

Continue reading: The Darkest Hour Review

Miss March Review


Terrible
Written, directed, and starring Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger, 2/5ths of the sketch comedy group The Whitest Kids U Know, Miss March chronicles both one man's lifetime infatuation with Playboy magazine and another man's apprehensive four-year attempt to lose his virginity to his girlfriend. The former, Tucker (Moore), has been obsessed with the cultural implications of the high-end porn mag since he first got a glimpse of one of the Pamela Anderson issues. The best friend is Eugene (Cregger), a high-school student who doubles as an abstinence lecturer. Along with his devout girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi), Eugene recounts how his brother had sex and then had "retard babies" that later went on to burn down his house and kill his mother. The tirade is accompanied by projections of Syphilis-infected no-no areas.

With prom around the corner, Cindi insists that since they are so totally made for each other they should go all the way. At the behest of Tucker, Eugene gets hammered and before he can go upstairs and enjoy the best eight seconds of his life-to-date, he falls down the stairs and lands a coma for four years. Awakened by a medical advent called "The Bat Trick," which consists of Tucker hitting him in the face with a Louisville Slugger, Eugene comes to find that Cindi is now a Playboy Playmate. Serendipitously, the upcoming weekend offers a chance for all the Playmates to converge on the Playboy Mansion, and the two friends take to the road while also evading Tucker's epileptic girlfriend (Molly Stanton).

Continue reading: Miss March Review

Big Trouble Review


Terrible
Much has been said about Big Trouble, another film meant for a near-September 11th release that was postponed because its contents would be too upsetting amidst the tragedy. Now, seven months and countless airport security measures later, Touchtone Pictures has determined that it is a better time for the film's release.

But forget about September 11th for a moment and consider this: Is there ever a good time to release a film that endorses bribing airline personal for tickets to carry a suitcase containing a ticking nuclear bomb onto a plane? The answer is easy. Pre- or post-September 11th, there is no appropriate time for a comedy this poorly conceived. Big Trouble is irresponsible filmmaking; it doesn't even justify the space for an explanation. But since reviews are my business, let me try to sort out this movie's mess.

Continue reading: Big Trouble Review

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Tom Jacobson Movies

The Darkest Hour Movie Review

The Darkest Hour Movie Review

An intriguing idea and inventive visual approach is let down by a script that runs...

Miss March Movie Review

Miss March Movie Review

Written, directed, and starring Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger, 2/5ths of the sketch comedy group...

Big Trouble Movie Review

Big Trouble Movie Review

Much has been said about Big Trouble, another film meant for a near-September 11th release...

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