Uma Thurman has confessed she spent years suffering depression and self-loathing, even when she was one of Hollywood's most successful actresses. The Pulp Fiction star insists no amount of movie successes and Academy Award nominations could compensate for the pain of two divorces - to Gary Oldman and Ethan Hawke - and the loneliness of life as a single mother. She says, "My professional life was soaring but my private life was in ruins. For many years I lived in a kind of self-loathing where I never gave myself much credit for anything I accomplished. "I fell into acting and a life that didn't give me the feeling I was doing anything substantial or meaningful. Even when I was starring in big films and receiving a lot of attention I kind of dismissed it as celebrity worship."