Hannah Spearritt blamed herself for Paul Cattermole's death and thought it was her fault.
Hannah Spearritt blamed herself for Paul Cattermole's death.
The 42-year-old singer was shocked when her S Club 7 bandmate and former boyfriend Paul, 46, died suddenly in April and revealed she initially feared it was suicide and thought it was her fault.
Hannah's fears came from a “deeply disturbing” email she received from Paul in 2021.
She told The Sun on Sunday newspaper: “I will never ever reveal the contents of that email.
“It’s not in my book and I will take it to the grave. I didn’t tell anybody about it at the time because it was pretty clear that he wasn’t very well.
“The things he said were of great concern. It was a lot. I started blaming myself. I had all these things going through my head — it was all blame, blame, blame. It was horrible.
“I thought maybe he believed the email was about to come out and that perhaps I was about to share it.”
However, it was later revealed that Paul's death was caused by cardiac issues but that didn't stop Hannah from feeling overwhelmed and pulling out of the S Club 7 reunion tour with bandmates Rachel Stevens, 45, Jon Lee, 41, Bradley McIntosh, 42, Jo O’Meara, 44, and 47-year-old Tina Barrett.
She said: "I was extremely excited — we all were — to get back as a seven.
"But then Paul died and everything changed. It gave me time to reflect on whether it was the right thing for me to do.
"I hadn’t been in the best of health — I’ve got a compromised immune system and stress makes it worse.
“My body just couldn’t cope with everything that was happening. I wasn’t myself.
"I was getting these crippling panic attacks, was suffering from really bad vertigo and was tired all the time.
“It was affecting my kids too, because I had no energy to do anything with them.
“The more I started to think about what it was that I wanted, the more I realised that I just couldn’t go back. It was causing me a great deal of stress.
“It felt like S Club was so long ago, and I know it’s a cliché but life is short. It just didn’t feel right.
“In the end, I had to make a decision that was right for me and my family."
On the same day that Glastonbury welcomed back Margate's adopted sons, The Libertines, Margate itself put on it's very own Leisure Festival as it...
Sheffield's very own all girl group Pretty Fierce are still on a high after the recent release of their debut single - 'Ready For Me'.
Three nights before the end of his current tour Will Varley returned to his home town of Deal to delight a sold out crowd in The Astor Theatre.
With only a few days to go before Portsmouth based songstress and producer WYSE releases her new single, 'Belladonna', we caught up with her to find...
Colorado raised, Glasgow educated and Manchester based Bay Bryan is nothing if not a multi-talented, multi-faceted artist performing as both...
Former Marigolds band member Keelan Cunningham has rediscovered his love of music with his new solo project Keelan X.
Wiltshire singer-songwriter Luke De Sciscio, formally known as Folk Boy, is set to release is latest album - 'The Banquet' via AntiFragile Music on...
Electronic music pioneer and producer Annie Elise says that the release of her first EP - 'Breathe In, Breathe Out' feels "both vulnerable and...
Last year's kiddie secret-agent comedy "Agent Cody Banks" was a stupid movie that got by...